Man, did I overdo it this weekend! Why... I have NO idea. I had a scrapbooking get together with my friend and her family. We totally called it as a pig-out crazy weekend...but My Oh My! It was unneccessary. Saturday night as I drove home, I just about broke into tears. Not the usual, oh I didn't stay on course, feeling bad. But a full out, why am I doing bad things to myself type of a sadness and breakdown.
I will spare you the details of what all was ate....(not that it matters as this blog has No readers...but maybe someday it will- and you will NOT want to hear it. you might just go throw up from reading it.)
I felt horrible ALL weekend. Actually it started on the way out there, I got a Mountain Dew to drink, and BLAH! My stomach was already hurting by the time I sat down to scrap. Just a little, not enough to stop me from continuing to drink and eat myself into oblivion!
I was thinking on the way home....and I realized that maybe that was my eye opener. I have to take better care of myself. Not just for weight. Just for me. Just so not to feel, full and horrible on a sugar overload, just so not to wonder to myself afterwards...do I really hate myself THAT much. THAT much that I would just be so careless. I felt horrible the whole weekend. I was unmotivated, and I felt tired- no exhausted, and I didn't feel like being very social, and it was awful. I was so not like my usual self.
I am already feeling so much better, as I have been eatin much differently. But not even back to as good as I was before the weekend. Like for lunch I just ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Not soo bad, but not the best option either.
Guess this new lifestyle is just a work in progress for me....and WORK it certainly is. I am sure I will figure it all out soon!
Oh, I forgot too, I woke up today with my foot and it feels like the tendon behind my knee hurting. I find it so odd since I did not do any physical exercise this weekend at all. I sat on my bum all weekend. So maybe I pulled it yesterday just doing minimal clean-up around the house, or what I am more thinking, is that it is a side effect of the sugar that is probably still running wild in my system.
With all of this said, I can only do one thing: Acknowledge and move on! And that is just what I shall do!
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Melissa, have you ever heard of the book, "French Women Don't Get Fat?" I think it would be great for you. It is all about how French women are very sensual and truly enjoy food but know how not to overdo it. They really know how to balance. it also talks about how they don't diet because diets and restrictions lead to deprivation which leads to pigging out. There is a sequel to the book called French Women for All Seasons, too. Great concepts and recipes...I think you would love it. Have you checked out the book "Nourishing Traditions"? It is a great book, too, also go the Weston A. Price Foundations website for a lot of great info. It is not just about losing weight. There are so many harmful things in Mt. Dew including many chemicals, high fructose corn syrup, artificial food dyes and that is all getting dumped into your body, your temple, the thing that you need to take care of your kids! Love yourself, mama!
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